A Part of Me
by Kazeno Rei
Summary: A Zutara WIP - Set months after the "The End" rolls at the end of the series. There was more to the story of the tiny miracle Katara pulled during Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai. My first ATLA fic. Please R&R   UPDATE!  Fleshed out the story a bit and divided it into chapters.  Also heavily revised what I had already posted  As always, please R&R  .
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The light of an almost full moon shone brightly, illuminating most of the balcony in what he had come to consider a comforting blanket of white, blue and gray hues.

Sighing, Zuko lazily let his eyes roam over the courtyard below. He hoped for a distraction, something to occupy his mind, for it was always when the moon was high in the night sky that the palpitations were at their worst. They weren't very painful, but impossible to ignore. His hand wandered from the banister to the scar between his heart and navel. For a firebender, the solar plexus chakra is where their chi first pools and builds in the body. Since his agni kai at the end of the war, whenever it was late at night, the scar and chakra almost seemed to pulse beneath his fingers. Wincing in discomfort, he instead tried to focus his mind on the unavoidable responsibilities forthcoming in the next few days; it would be the first anniversary of the end of the war.

Sokka, Suki, Ty Lee, and some of the Kiyoshi warriors had made it safely to the palace yesterday. Tomorrow, Master Paaku and several waterbenders of varying aptitudes from the Northern Water Tribe, Chief Hakoda and his warriors of the Southern Water Tribe and…

_Katara…_

…. Would arrive.

His eyes turned back upward to the moon at thinking her name. He and Katara had barely communicated after his coronation. Her departure had left their, _acquaintanceship_, in an awkward place. With the other teens, he had at least had more time to engage and bond. Aang, Toph, Sokka and Suki had stayed an extra few weeks before they each left to their own corners of the world, both excited and nervous at beginning their first attempts at normalcy since the end of the war.

Breathing deeply to abate the increase in the pulsing beneath his scar, Zuko's mind wandered to other recent discomfort…..other times that still tore at his heart.

He told himself it was all understandable: being Fire Lord is something no teen is prepared for, and he certainly wasn't an exception. Nonetheless, he couldn't deny his feelings of dedication – a passionate desire to restore balance to the world. As a descendant of both Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku, he decided that it truly was his responsibility, no, his _destiny_ to pour his mind and soul into molding the Fire Nation into a society worthy of admiration rather than hate and fear. This of course left little room in his life for everything he had come to know in his time of banishment: intrigue, exploration, enrichment…. Love….

Mai…. _His_ Mai. Though noble-born herself and familiar with all its trappings, she nonetheless fought for a normal relationship with the young leader. She was patient and loyal, but was also no fool. What she had fought so valiantly against simply could not be beaten. Zuko's dedication to his new title meant what she had feared since the day of his coronation: developing and building a loving relationship while Zuko also poured himself into his newfound responsibilities wouldn't just be difficult – it would be impossible. There would always be something for the new Fire Lord of a fledgling government and society to handle that he wouldn't be able to pass on to the council or other advisors. And while Mai found it wholly admirable, she couldn't deny that it was also completely detrimental to the spontaneity and excitement of a blossoming love. Mai _could_ live with that. But she _wouldn't_. Just the idea of it exhausted her. As she started to mature herself, and finally free of Azula's manipulation and threats, she found that in being completely honest with herself, it was Zuko the young man she grew up with that held her heart, not Zuko the ambitious Fire Lord.

Since she had pointedly told Zuko to never break up with her again, and since she held her own hopes deep in her heart that they may still have a future together, she took her time and carefully worded a note to her beloved.

"_I'm not going to simply __stop__ loving you, jerk. Love doesn't work like that. However, I can see how complicated your life has become, and I know it will remain so for probably a long time. If at any time you find yourself able to escape the torturous world of politics without feelings of irresponsibility, guilt, or neglect, or are at least find a healthier balance than your current overzealousness, please come find me. I love you. Mai."_

Upon leaving the note tacked to the Fire Lord's bedchamber door, Mai left to seek out the master swordsman Piandao. The last he had heard, the master had taken Mai as his student – his first female student.

_Potential masters deserve the best teachers _he thought to himself.

And so he was alone again.

… And so remains.

His reverie was broken by a sudden shock of pain under his scar. Hissing in a sharp breath, Zuko pressed hard against the pink blotch. The pain decreased; his pulse was unusually strong and deep.

Whenever the moon was large, and his newest scar burned and pulsed, he remembered his last Agni-Kai. Every strike that he had countered, every breath that he heaved… it was all so vivid still. And yet in the end, he owed his life to the miracle prowess of someone he'd hunted, captured, betrayed….

…But somehow befriended.

Turning his back to the courtyard, Zuko retreated into the foyer leading to his bedroom, his mind awash with the anticipation of the days to come. The day after next, the Avatar would arrive with master earth-benders Toph Bei Fong and King Bumi of Omashu. They would be joined by the Earth Kingdom King of Ba Sing Se and his court, as well as warriors that had participated in the invasion on the day of black sun. Such a grand reunion weighed heavily on his mind, along with what was to be expected of not just him but his own court for the celebration of the end of the war. He and Aang would address an estimated 250,000 citizens gathered from all corners of the world. They would be followed by Iroh and a council of representatives from all nations. It would be a daunting task to not only meet with and discuss the celebration with all the representatives, but also figure out how to wrap it all into a powerful and inspiring presentation that would encourage and inspire.

His scar pulsed.

Zuko sighed while opening the door to his chambers.

It was going to be a long week.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The light rain didn't bother her. It never did. And tonight in particular it actually felt comforting. There had been no rains in the South Pole, and as the droplets soaked through her , she remembered that while traveling in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, she had come to enjoy the water falling from the sky. Whenever it would storm, she would walk outside to be in the rain, listen to the thunder and watch the….

_…Lightning_

Katara couldn't stop the shudder that violently shook through her. With both hands, she gripped the rail in front of her, and took a steadying breath. Almost as if Yue felt her pain, the drizzle stopped, and the clouds parted to reveal a brilliant moon. With the white light falling over her and the rest of the boat's deck, Katara sat down and trained her eyes on the constellations above. But, even such a familiar meditation couldn't keep her mind from straying to the most painful of memories. Azula and her lightning… killing her two best friends. Both times she had watched in petrified horror as the lightning struck them down…

_Oh gods, to be rid of these memories… _she thought in anguish. But she knew that it was impossible: she had meddled too much with the spirit world – more than any other normal bender or mortal had before her. And so, perhaps even as punishment, the spirits would never allow her to forget. The first time she had dared to cross the line had been using the sacred wader of the spirit oasis of the North Pole – the same water where the moon and ocean spirits had spent centuries dancing in their mortal forms. She had used it to bring Aang, no, the Avatar, back from death's door after he had been killed in Ba Sing Se. The second and last time had been in the Fire Nation. The lightning was so fast, she wouldn't have survived the attack… and then…

_Zuko…. _

He'd saved her; sacrificed his life for hers.

At the thought, silent tears streamed freely down her face. Something awful turned in her stomach as she remembered exactly how guilty and terrible she felt as she watched his dying form crumple to the ground. Everything she's said before she had forgiven him flew back in her face. Outraged at herself and at Azula the murderer, she ran on pure adrenaline until the princess was in chains. But, Azula had delayed her enough that once Katara was finally by his side, Zuko's heart would only beat twice more. She felt it all through her healing gloves of water and her spirit cried out for help as Zuko slipped away.

Their answer was –

"Katara? Are you all right?"

She looked up to see her father approaching her. Wiping away any remaining tears, Katara stood up to face him.

"I'm okay Dad. It's just… some memories about the day we are about to celebrate. Let's just say they're not my favorite things to think about.

Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, Chief Hakoda smiled gently at her.

"In the months that you've been home, I've noticed that you've seemed….. well, less than whole. It's as if your spirit has dimmed without the promise of travel and adventure."

His paternal gaze suddenly turned hard and serious.

"Snow Bear, if reuniting with your friends lifts your spirit, I'm going to ask our elders if you could become one of the waterbending ambassadors we send to the other tribes, nations, and kingdoms."

Surprised, an excited Katara couldn't help but grin as she wrapped her arms around her father. 

"You mean it dad? Right away too?"

At his nod, she felt about ready to burst with joy.

"Oh thank you dad; thank you so –"

"Don't thank me yet" Hakoda added, "let's wait until after the celebration has wound down before we begin such political endeavors, okay?"

Katara only barely let her shoulders sag. With a shake of her head she gave her father one last squeeze.

"That's probably a good idea."

Hakoda nodded and then walked back toward the cabins below deck. Katara lingered; gazing up to the ocean of stars. Hopefully the spirits will be merciful and allow her a decent night's sleep before landing in the Fire Nation


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Zuko bolted upright in his bed. He looked around his bedchamber, expecting to see everything in flames … it had seemed so real…

_A great dragon lay before him. The giant beast softly, but sternly, spoke to him with each syllable ringing inside his head. _

"_Fire Lord Zuko, heed my words. You should belong to the karmic wheel right now. Instead, your spirit has been touched by another – pining you to the land of the living as long as they shall live. Upon their death, you too will fall. Anytime they experience pain, you will know and you will feel it as if it were your own. This is the price your spirit pays for cheating death." _

_At the young man's silence, the dragon wound full-circle around him. With a critical eye, the dragon paused directly in front of Zuko. Under the dragon's glare, Zuko felt his chi swirling in the bottom of his stomach._

"_Your firebending is forever changed. If you fall to apathy, your bending will fade. If you cultivate empathy, your power and strength will only grow." The dragon continued._

_Zuko held his palm out and focused on a memory where he felt empathy. Katara's face as she met her mother's murderer flashed through his mind. Breathing deeply, he recalled how he felt and let the energy build in his stomach. Immediately he knew this was not his normal fire; it felt icy and boiling at the same time. As it spiraled up and out to his palm, his eyes widened; it was blue flame. While he numbly stared at it, the dragon growled as the blue flame exploded from his hand…_

Raking his fingers through his hair, Zuko glanced around the room. Nothing seemed burned or singed. He quickly dressed and made his way to the same balcony he had retreated to late the previous night. Now, it was instead bathed in the warm orange glow of daybreak. Suddenly, the words of the dragon from his dream sunk in.

He had died.

And Katara had saved him.

_At what price to her? _he wondered. Then, he lifted his palm, took a centering breath, and slowly conjured up a flame. His eyes widened as he watched it transform: it stayed yellow-orange on the exterior, but inside, it burned blue and white.

"Amazing."

He carefully extinguished the little fire and returned to his dressing room. The sound of the crowds gathering at the docks to meet and greet the honored guests was already loud enough for him to hear from inside his chambers.

The day had started.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter ?

"I didn't know I died."

Katara's eyes shot wide-open.

She spun to face him, and neither spoke; wavering blue met stern gold.

Zuko was the first to blink. He lowered his gaze and pointed to the angry pink flesh just below his heart.

"I didn't understand at first…" he paused and pressed his palm against the pulse in his abdomen.

Looking up, he continued, "I knew you'd also healed Aang after he was hit by Azula's lightning."

Sensing the seriousness in his voice, Kartara only nodded.

"…. I remember, while we were training once, Aang mentioned the miracle of the water from the spirit oasis in the North Pole that you had shown me in Ba Sing Se. I think he even referred to it as "spirit water' …"

Both were motionless. With a shuddering breath, Zuko continued.

"…. You didn't have any when you healed me - "

He took a step forward.

"- when you brought me back to life."

Zuko noticed her inhale sharply as she looked away. His pulse roared in his ears – he was right….

_By Agni, She…._

"You used your own spirit to heal me…."

Katara looked down, eyes shifting back and forth a little. It wasn't a question; it was a statement. She had hoped he might never know, and when she looked up, her watery azure eyes shone in the moonlight leaving Zuko speechless. He unconsciously held his breath, finally exhaling as he watched her seem to find her voice. He knew. So, he deserved the truth, she thought.

"I couldn't let you die."

She spoke so softly, he wasn't sure she'd said anything at all.

A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

Zuko reached up and brushed it away, letting his thumb linger. He felt an overwhelming urge to comfort her. He had so much to ask, so much to say….

Closing her eyes, Katara took a deep breath and reached up to cover Zuko's hand with her own palm. He had expected her touch to feel cooler on his skin, but instead her hand felt nearly as warm as his own.

_Her heart must be racing…_

Katara let her hand slide from his and back to her side as he slowly did the same.

"When I felt your heart stop," she paused, opening her eyes and looking at him with a soft, almost forlorn gaze, "I felt my blood run cold."

He tensed; she trembled. Zuko hadn't known that she knew his heart had stopped; Katara realized he didn't know she had felt every pulse, every spasm of his damaged heart.

Her gaze became penetrating.

"Inside, I cried out for Tui and La to lend me their strength… "

She choked back a sob.

"…I felt… I… if only it had been nighttime and a full moon… gods…."

More tears fell.

Zuko winced and pulled her into a hug. He brushed back her hair and pulled her closer when he felt her tremble from another silent sob. They remained that way while clouds passed over the bright moon. Seconds, then minutes passed, and the tension eased.

He loosened his grip, "I had a dream…." Zuko spoke, barely above a whisper, breaking the wall of silence. Katara's even breathing hinted that she was listening.

"The same master dragon I met with Aang this past summer told me that my spirit had been touched by that of another – and that whenever they felt pain I would know; I would feel it as well."

He pulled back to face her.

"I know your pain."

Katara blinked, and stared as deep as she could into his eyes. What she saw made her gasp.

"Zuko! I-"

"Katara, you gave…you… your own spirit healed me. I owe you my life".

His smile was very slight, but warm. He gently squeezed her shoulder and as he let his hand trail down her arm, Katara lifted her arms up, resting her palms on his shoulders. With a meaningful gaze, she slowly stood on her toes and leaned toward him. He brought his hands to her waist and met her mouth with a hesitant kiss.

As they broke apart, eyes closed, he murmured "Stay."

Katara opened her eyes, . "What?"

"Stay here for a while. Don't leave when your brother and father leave." He looked at her pleadingly. She looked slightly tense; a little uncertain.

"Please stay Katara. I want to know more about the woman who gave part of her spirit to pull me from death's grasp."


End file.
